Showing posts with label Body Image. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Body Image. Show all posts

Definition of Size Art Fundraiser

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago an art fundraiser being organised by Plus Confidence owner, Anita Bellamy. You can read that post here.

I attended it at the weekend - and wanted to let you all know what a great time I had. I didn't take many photos at the event because I figured blogs would be saturated by those! We were respectfully asked not to photograph the art, so you'll have to attend a future event if you want to see those!


Me and the lady herself

The exhibition was to showcase the first photos as part of Anita's Definition of Size project. She wants to make glamourous, sexy, media-savvy images available to the media - much like they are, but of ladies that are size 16 and above. 

When I spoke to her at the event she told that she this was just a snapshot of what she wanted to do - the lady has big visions! What I loved about the event was seeing some friendly faces and some new faces all getting on, chatting, laughing and more in this amazingly positive environment. That could be down to the free-flowing-wine that Anita arranged, but I hope it was more to do with the people that attended - and all wanted to get the same out of the event - positivity!


Me and Brick City
I got to see Brick City perform, chat to Anita about her project and won a dress and some jewellery in the raffle - so, you could say I had a pretty successful day! You could also have some henna art on your hands, a facial and your photo taken by professional photographers, she thought of everything!


Me and some of the lovely ladies at the event
This was just a very small part of her bigger vision and when I spoke to her yesterday, she seems to have lots planned for 2014, so I can't wait to see what comes of it!

Did you attend? Come say hey!

Debz xx

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OMCZ - Week 21 - Emulate Another Blogger's Style



There are so many bloggers style that I love, but would not usually wear. I don't think this is a bad thing, we all have our style and it is important to dress however you feel happy and comfortable - which is always the main thing! That said, when I saw this weeks Outsize My Comfort Zone post, I had to think about who I would want to dress as! My biggest fear was doing it badly and offending a blogger that I love, which obviously I don't want to do!


Challenge: "Emulate Another Blogger's Style"

Rebecca wrote:

"I know it's best sometimes to keep things simple, but I've recently been thinking about how fun it would be to emulate another blogger's style that is very much so out of our comfort zone. It could be a blogger within or outside of the the OMCZ group, but I know there are plenty of bloggers out there whose style I love but have not dared to wear."

So - Instead I choose to pick a style that a number of bloggers choose - VINTAGE! I love, love, love the like of Tess Munster and George at Fuller Figure Fuller Bust and the style that they dress in. I love the thought of tea dresses, vintage clothing and everything that comes with it! I dug deep into the bottom of wardrobe and found this dress that was given to me a few years ago, that I have never worn!




I actually love how this dress looks on me, though it may be a little long - now I just need somewhere as an excuse to wear it! Vintage tea party anyone?




Please check out the other ladies taking part in the Outside My Comfort Zone blog challenge:

Stephanie  -  http://www.seeingspots.co.uk/
Leah - http://www.justmeleah.blogspot.co.uk
Mary - http://www.marysbigcloset.blogspot.pt
Becky Brown - http://www.doesmyblogmakemelookfat.com
Rachel  - http://www.adressisforlife.com/
Natalie - http://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk/
Nikki - http://www.nattynikki.blogspot.co.uk/
Rebs - http://sullen-hearts.blogspot.co.uk/
Verena - http://aplussizefashionobsession.blogspot.de/
Beka  - bekasstuffystuff.blogspot.com
Rebecca - http://theplussideofme.com
Hollie - Http://www.prettybigbutterflies.com
Sabina - http://www.femmefatalexsabina.blogspot.de/
Betty - http://www.bigfatbetty.com/
Katt - http://acurvycupcake.blogspot.co.uk/
Mookie - http://muki7x7.blogspot.co.uk/
Erin - http://erinslittlebigcorner.blogspot.co.uk/

Debz xx

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Little Me - What Would You Say?

This week while reading some of my favourite blogs, I stumbled across the 'Love EVERY Body' project arranged by the lovely Leah over at http://justmeleah.blogspot.co.uk/. This week I saw people writing letters to their body, what they wanted to thank it for, blame it for, apologise for etc. but most of all what they wanted to love it for.




Then my sister published a blog post about her weight loss journey and how it hasn't made her happier. Yes, she is happier in a sense but not in another - weight loss, dieting and self love is a long journey and somewhat of a roller coaster.


"If anyone ever tells you being thin or a certain dress size will make you happy then they are lying. However you felt about your body and the insecurities you had before your weight loss will be the same no matter how your outward appearance changes."


Over recent weeks, one of my favourite songs has been Little Me, by Little Mix. I love the song, but I also love the message that it presses - that one day, you'll look back and want to tell yourself that everything will be OK.


"Wish I knew back then, What I know now, Wish I could somehow, Go back in time and maybe listen to my own advice. I'd tell her to speak up, tell her to shout out, Talk a bit louder, be a bit prouder, Tell her she's beautiful, wonderful, Everything she doesn't see"



I often get messages asking me how I became so confident, how I can be so happy with the way I look and whether my self-body-love is real! I don't really have the answers - only that Yes, I do like myself and I think you should like yourself! The only real thing I have to say on that is that lots of people think the same as you! There are people out there, who you see as perfect who feel just as unhappy with the shape of their body. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

 So, if you could tell your 'little you' anything, what would you say?


I would tell my 15 year old self that everything will be OK, I'd tell my 21 year old self that moving up North will be the best decision you ever make and I would tell my 26 year old self that everything happens for a reason. I would tell myself as a teenager that one day you'll love yourself and as a twenty year old, you'll learn to embrace your body and like it! 

What about you?

Debz xx

If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here:

Dear Angela Epstein - An Open Letter



Dear Angela Epstein

I read your recent article on Best Daily and I feel I had to write to you (for anyone who hasn't read the 'Having Fat Friends is Such Hard Work'article, you can do so here).

Firstly, I find it disappointing that you find any of your friends hard work. Friendship should be something that makes your life nicer - not harder. However, when I look at the reasons why you find your friendships such hard work  - I am left flabbergasted.

Rather than condemning your friend for trying to do the 'right' thing and order a salad - why not tell her that you love her, just as she is - and that she should order the Welsh Rarebit if she wants to. Reassure her that life is worth far more than worrying about the size of her jeans! Tell her that you want her to enjoy her afternoon without worrying - and that IT IS OK to order exactly what she wants for lunch.


Do you know why your friends are seemingly hard work? Because everywhere you turn, the world tells you that you should hate yourself for being fat. When you open magazines who tell you to drop a dress size before Christmas and when you go on websites for clothes who tell you that you are too big for their range - they're all telling you that your body is not OK, and that you should change it.

When you're up against this sort of hard work it can be tough to say... "I am OK just as I am, and I do not need to change", so you live in this sort of eternal turmoil which leads you to eat a salad at lunch and then a pizza at dinner because you hate yourself for not feeling that the salad was enough.

And throughout all of this - do you know what you should be able to do? You should be able to speak to your friends, feel their love and support and to know that they love you no matter what.

Rather than spending your time writing hateful articles for Best Daily why don't you spend your time telling your friends that being the size they are is OK - they if they want to order Welsh Rarebit they can and that is OK. Perhaps then, when they feel a little more confident in their body image you'll have less hard work to put up with and can put your efforts into being a proper friend, who supports them no matter what they weight.

The world can be a hard place - why would you want to make it harder for your friends to love themselves with your cruel words? If your friends are "hard work" do them a favour and find yourself some new ones. Just make sure they are thin, because we all know thin people have no problems or dramas so will give you a happy, stress free friendship...

Debz x


If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here:

OMCZ #20: The Colour of Confidence

I have wanted to be involved in a 'bloggers challenge' for some time now and have struggled to find one I feel I'll be able to contribute too! This week I was reminded about the 'Outside My Comfort Zone' posts that go up every Wednesday - and so here I am!



Sadly, my first week has to be a bit of a let down - I am in Kent looking after a poorly friend and didn't really bring any 'outfitty' things with me!

Seeing as this weeks theme is 'The Colour of Confidence' I thought I would post a couple of old oufits rather than back out of the challenge completely!

The Colour of Confidence by Vicky: My theme is going to "The Colour of Confidence".  For me, red is the colour of confidence and everything I wear it, be it lipstick or clothing; I feel an extra boost. What is your confidence colour?

I tried to look through my photos to see if a colour stood out in my outfits... and I think it has to be pink (or patterned, but seeing as we're going for colour - I have gone for pink!).



I know, this isn't the greatest Outside My Comfort Zone challenge post ever - but I promise to come back fighting next week! For now, pink is definitely my confidence colour!

Of course... I do were red, the traditional colour of confidence too!




Please take a few minutes to check out the other ladies in the challenge:)


NameBlog
Stephanie http://www.seeingsp0ts.blogspot.co.uk
Leah http://www.justmeleah.blogspot.co.uk
Mary http://www.marysbigcloset.blogspot.pt
Becky Brownhttp://www.doesmyblogmakemelookfat.com
Rachel http://www.adressisforlife.com/
Nataliehttp://awheelbarrowfullofstyle.blogspot.co.uk/
Nikkihttp://www.nattynikki.blogspot.co.uk/
Rebshttp://sullen-hearts.blogspot.co.uk/
Verenahttp://aplussizefashionobsession.blogspot.de/
Bekabekasstuffystuff.blogspot.com
Rebeccahttp://theplussideofme.com
HollieHttp://www.prettybigbutterflies.com
Sabinahttp://www.femmefatalexsabina.blogspot.de/
Bettyhttp://www.bigfatbetty.com/
Katthttp://acurvycupcake.blogspot.co.uk/
Mookiehttp://muki7x7.blogspot.co.uk/

What colour do you like to wear?

Debz xx


If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here:

Taking Body Positive Influences From All Over

Evening :)

If you have read my blog before then you will have seen that I love finding positive body image sources from all over. I have linked to different people before and I think it's important to surround yourself with positive stuff, where possible. I am not saying it's a miracle cure, but I am very happy and content in the skin I am in - and for years I have sought out, collected, watched and shared positive images, videos and sayings... I guess the two are related!

Anyway, when I find pieces that I like, I want to share them because I think its important for people to have places they can stumble across little rays of sunshine when they didn't expect it - so here you go!



Carrie Hope Fletcher

The little sister of Tom McFly has had a YouTube channel for a while now. I don't pretend to know lots of facts about her but I do love her singing voice! Anyway, last week she released this video of her talking about body image, her own body and how she feels about confidence etc. I really enjoyed watching it and I hope you will too! :)



Hollie McNish

I have blogged about Hollie before and my love of her poems. This week I was reminded of her words when I found out that some of her poetry was being used for Dove adverts. 

My favourite of hers is a poem called "WOW"


One of her Dove advert ones can be seen/heard here:




I love all of these pieces - and a couple more by Hollie McNish. As ever I love Mary Lambert, Natasha Devon and so many other people!

Surrounding myself with positive influences like this really helps me to be happy with who I am... 

What do you do to help yourself with body confidence? Do you find people influential to the way you feel about your body?

I'd love to know your thoughts!

Debz 

If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here:

"Meat Is For The Man, Only A Dog Wants A Bone"... ??

I know, I have already blogged today - but something has really got my blood boiling and I have to rant somehow!

So anyway... Real Women Have Curves!

That's right isn't it? That if you're a REAL man you'll admit to being a chubby chaser, or that if you're a curvy woman you should embrace it because your body shape is real -so much more real than the size 10 girl down the road!

It all started with this post by Superdrug post (which I found via http://www.bigfashionista.co.uk/2013/11/body-shaming-by-superdrug.html)



As you can imagine - there were some choice words said against their use of this photo. It was deleted within a few hours and they apologised via Twitter the next day.

It once again got me thinking about the mantras that SO many body positive influencers use, to try and make curvy women feel better about themselves... You know the ones I mean, 'Real women have curves', 'Meat is for the man, only dogs want a bone'... I have ranted about these before and no doubt I will again.

If you believe that 'real women have curves' then please look at this photo:


I am proud to say that the gorgeous girl on the left is my little sister. I have talked about her and her weight loss before so I won't go down that route - but can you HONESTLY say that she is not a real woman?? She looks amazing - and she is kind, funny, clever and has all of the good qualities that a decent person should have. I honestly do not believe that she or I have better body types that each other (not that it is a contest  - I believe we both have good bodies and that mantras like 'real women have curves' only serve to segregate people in the fight towards a body positive world and that is the last thing we need. 

Are bones only for dogs, or is my beautiful little sister just as entitled to be loved (by the way she is!) by a man as I am... We're all good, and I really can not stress enough how much sayings like these make me cringe - especially when they're used in a way to promote positive body image.

Real Men Like Women With Curves. 

That sentence right there ^^ makes me SO angry. I saw it on a website called 'Curvy Partner' although i can't see it on their page any more, so maybe they have seen the error of their ways. 

They do have this tweet though:



Someone who finds my sister (or someone similar) attractive is no more or less real than someone who finds me (or someone similar) attractive. We're all real - even those of us who are 'bad' or make bad decisions - we're REAL! Every single bloody one of us.... 


SO PLEASE STOP WITH YOUR BODY-SHAMING BULLSHIT!

I will never, ever understand the concept of bringing down a body type in order to make someone else feel better. I have said it many times - ALL BODIES ARE GOOD BODIES! If you are fat, or thin or like fat girls or thin girls (or boys!) that is OK! Your preference is OK and your business alone. 


You do not need to be detrimental to one body type in order to make another feel better!

I'd love to know your thoughts - Do these sayings make you feel better, or do you agree with me?

Debz xx

P.S I apologise for the rant, the anger and the swearing :)


If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here:

Hard Out Here - Is It What We Really Need?

You know me - I love anything that is body image positive, especially those people who use arts, music, poems etc to get their message across.

I have to admit that I heard about Lily Allens song long before I actually listened to it. With people quoting it's lyrics on Twitter and shouting about how great it was that Lily Allen had waxed lyrical about an issue that is so close to our hearts.





I read the lyrics and really loved what I read:



"If I tell you about my sex life

You call me a slut
Them boys be talking about their bitches
No one's making a fuss"


"You're not a size six

And you're not good looking
Well, you better be rich
Or be real good at cooking
You should probably lose some weight
'Cause we can't see your bones
You should probably fix your face
Or you'll end up on your own
Don't you want to have somebody who objectifies you?
Have you thought about your bar who's gonna tear it in two?
We've never had it so good, uh huh
We're out of the woods
And if you can't detect the sarcasm
You've misunderstood"

I listened to the song and I have to confess to liking it - catchy melody and lyrics I can relate to, what more does a song need?


And then I read a tweet from Pop Idol winner Michelle McManus



And she linked to this newspaper article from a few years ago


Now, I guess you could say that if Lily Allen thought she did look fat, then comparing it to someone else could be a good way of getting her point across... But then is dragging another female into a story about your own negative body image really a good step to take?

I have had a little play on Google and have also come across an open letter Lily Allen penned to Cheryl Cole a few years ago.

"Cheryl, if you're reading this, I may not be as pretty as you, but at least I write and sing my own songs without the aid of Auto-Tune," she said. "I must say, taking your clothes off, doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying, your mother must be so proud, stupid bitch." 

Cheryl posted back saying "I have had enough of her and her big mouth," she said. "Over the last few months she has called [Girls Aloud bandmate Nicola Roberts] ugly, which I bit my tongue over. She called [other bandmate Sarah Harding] vile and my husband horrendous, but seems to have conveniently forgotten all of that." 

So it seems that Lily perhaps hasn't always been as kind as she could have been... Since then she is said to have made peace with Cheryl, saying 

So.. is it OK to be calling other females ugly and then a few years later releasing a song about image and 'setting the bar' of what you should look like? I say, yes. After all, we're all entitled to change and we all grow as people. If she has embraced beauty and can now write about issues such as "You should probably lose some weight, cause we can't see your bones" then good for her!

I really love that Lily Allen has recorded a song about body image and her take on the music industry, I just hope it is for all the right reasons! I love positive body image and I wish more people in the public eye would speak up about it and tell people it is OK to have a body, whatever size that is, that doesn't fit the media norm...I just hope that it's a permanent change in her outlook and we won't be reading negative stories from her in the future

What do you think?

Debz xx

If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here:


You Are More Beautiful Than You Think

Discovered this on twitter tonight. I loved it! The world sees you very differently than you see yourself... You are beautiful, love yourself always!! 


Let Your Haters Be Your Motivators!

This weekend I had to witness some wicked comments on Facebook which got me thinking! I won't link to the page they were on, or reference them too much as I really do not want to give it anymore promotion than it needs.

On a BBW Facebook page, someone posted a photo of a lady in a BBW night club in a tight, short dress. The larger lady was showing some flesh, but radiated confidence. I should point out that the lady was NOT looking at the camera and as far as I can tell doesnt know the photo was taken, let alone posted by someone else on a Facebook group - which itself upset me!

However, it was actually the comments on this page that upset me the most! Ladies were SO quick to knock this other lady down. Comments about how trashy she looked, how her outfit was 'so wrong' and how she should have some self respect and wear something else. People were commenting that her outfit was inappropriate and that she should not go out in public like that, because it is not what people want to see!

My comments about how we dont dress for other people and how we should stand together as one fell on mostly deaf ears - and what a shame that is! Not only do I feel that we should all respect eachother anyway, but as a BBW group I found it upsetting that larger ladies would put down someone larger for wearing what they want. 

Yes, the dress with tight and short. Yes, she showed off some flesh. Yes, it might not be something would I would wear - but who cares what they lady wears! What she does with her life and what her clothing choices, make no difference to me and my day! This lady was at a BBW night club, not a shopping trip to Asda, so let her wear what she wants to I say!

And then today - I posted this photo on Instagram!



I know, a photo of me in a pretty dress is not unusual, so you wouldn't think it would be such a big deal, but i think you'll see from these screen grabs that not everyone agrees! (I would usually block out a name, but seeing as these comments were made on a public forum (Instagram) and can be seen my anyone (my Instagram isn't private) I have chosen not to)









I have no problem at all with this lady and her life style choices, I don't even care if she looks at me and thinks I am disgusting - but what scares me is how quick she is to comment on a photo of someone she doesn't know just to try and bash them down?


The world is a big, bad scary place. The media tell us all the time that we're not good enough, that we should lose a dress size in two weeks or that we should get a bikini body for summer. All of this is thrown in our faces almost unavoidably - and I don't care, I am happy in my skin and I don't want to change. But why do ladies like the one above feel that they can comment on me and my lifestyle? Even if she doesn't understand me and my choices, I am just a stranger to her - what do I matter?

Ladies (and gentlemen), use your haters as your motivators! These people who want to rip you down and make you feel unworthy - DO NOT LET THEM! You are amazing and beautiful and don't let the world tell you otherwise. Spend time with your friends, cherish your family, buy pretty dresses whatever your size, eat too much, sleep too much, dance too much, slut drop until your thighs hurt but whatever you do, do not let them steal your shine - because you are worth more than you could even imagine!

Debz xx


 If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here:

Size 16 Mannequins? A Big Fat Yes From Me!

Over recent years there have been rumours and viral photos claiming that stores have/are going to introduce plus size mannequins. Of course when I say plus size, I actually mean a size 16 - which is the UK average, so not very 'plus' at all when you consider it, but that's another argument!

It wasn't until I logged onto Facebook this morning and saw Body Gossips post about Natasha Devon's debate on BBC Ulster Radio yesterday that I realised there is a real chance of it becoming a reality.

You can listen to the debate here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b039jmgt (starts from about 1 hour 9 minutes in)

In an interview with the Sunday Times Equalities Minister Jo Swinson has spoken up about her feelings and the need to have size 16 mannequins in stores.

She told The Sunday Times: "The images we see in the world of fashion are all pretty much the same — it’s as if there’s only one way of being beautiful.”


A Facebook image which has gone viral of a store using a plus size mannequin

Evans actually already use size 16 mannequins where as Topshop and Miss Selfridges use size 10. Wallis and Dorothy Perkins seem to fall in the middle with mannequins sized around a 10-12. 

However when you consider that in the past decade the average dress size of a UK female has gone up to a size 16, from a size 12 it is easy to see why size 10 mannequins just don't do the job.

Natasha Devon makes a good point in that it shouldn't just be plus size mannequins that we see in our shops. Instead they should be a range of diverse mannequins to reflect the range of bodies that shop on the UK high street.

When you think about it - why don't we have tall mannequins short ones? Why not have fat and thin mannequins? Big breasted and flat chested? That way, whoever is shopping in the stores has a better chance of seeing what the clothes look like on a mannequin that resembles their body.

If we are spending our hard earned cash on clothes why shouldn't we get a better idea of how they'll look on our frame before we part with our money?

I'd love to know what you think

Debz xx

If you liked what you read & want to keep up to date with future posts... You can do so here:

Merci BeauCoo

It is no secret that I read a lot of blogs - I love them! Over the last few days I have seen on blogs (and on places like Twitter) a few mentions of BeauCoo - a fashion based social networking website. I read Callie's full review on the site on her From The Corners of The Curve blog and decided to sign up (Thanks Callie!)

Their twitter describes them as "Pics on someone your own size! The worlds only body positive style network, just for women" and they're not wrong! 

I think it's a great site and wanted to recommend that more people join :)

When you join you put in your own measurements (don't worry they're anonymous) and then you can see fashion based posts by people of a similar size. We all know that different outfits and styles can look different on different shapes and sizes, so now you can look for someone similar to you!


My profile page on the site!

On the site you can look for all sorts though, so you don't have to worry about being limited to just seeing people like you! 

When you have joined the site you can post up photos and put where you got them and what you thought of the outfit!

Its a great way to look at recent trends, see different people wearing them and share your own favourite outfits.

As most of you will know I am really passionate about positive body image and people feeling good in whatever they wear and whatever their size. BeauCoo seem to be passionate about the same thing - a fashion website for everyone with a positive body image angle, which is exactly why I wanted to sign up!

You can join up here - let me know if you do and I'll give you a follow!


Debz xx


 
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