Little Me - What Would You Say?

This week while reading some of my favourite blogs, I stumbled across the 'Love EVERY Body' project arranged by the lovely Leah over at http://justmeleah.blogspot.co.uk/. This week I saw people writing letters to their body, what they wanted to thank it for, blame it for, apologise for etc. but most of all what they wanted to love it for.

Then my sister published a blog post about her weight loss journey and how it hasn't made her happier. Yes, she is happier in a sense but not in another - weight loss, dieting and self love is a long journey and somewhat of a roller coaster.

"If anyone ever tells you being thin or a certain dress size will make you happy then they are lying. However you felt about your body and the insecurities you had before your weight loss will be the same no matter how your outward appearance changes."

Read: What Do You Gain, When You Lose - http://looselipsandskinnyhips.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/what-do-you-gain-when-you-lose.html

Over recent weeks, one of my favourite songs has been Little Me, by Little Mix. I love the song, but I also love the message that it presses - that one day, you'll look back and want to tell yourself that everything will be OK.

"Wish I knew back then, What I know now, Wish I could somehow, Go back in time and maybe listen to my own advice. I'd tell her to speak up, tell her to shout out, Talk a bit louder, be a bit prouder, Tell her she's beautiful, wonderful, Everything she doesn't see"

I often get messages asking me how I became so confident, how I can be so happy with the way I look and whether my self-body-love is real! I don't really have the answers - only that Yes, I do like myself and I think you should like yourself! The only real thing I have to say on that is that lots of people think the same as you! There are people out there, who you see as perfect who feel just as unhappy with the shape of their body. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

 So, if you could tell your 'little you' anything, what would you say?

I would tell my 15 year old self that everything will be OK, I'd tell my 21 year old self that moving up North will be the best decision you ever make and I would tell my 26 year old self that everything happens for a reason. I would tell myself as a teenager that one day you'll love yourself and as a twenty year old, you'll learn to embrace your body and like it! 

What about you?

Debz xx

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Dear Angela Epstein - An Open Letter

Dear Angela Epstein

I read your recent article on Best Daily and I feel I had to write to you (for anyone who hasn't read the 'Having Fat Friends is Such Hard Work'article, you can do so here).

Firstly, I find it disappointing that you find any of your friends hard work. Friendship should be something that makes your life nicer - not harder. However, when I look at the reasons why you find your friendships such hard work  - I am left flabbergasted.

Rather than condemning your friend for trying to do the 'right' thing and order a salad - why not tell her that you love her, just as she is - and that she should order the Welsh Rarebit if she wants to. Reassure her that life is worth far more than worrying about the size of her jeans! Tell her that you want her to enjoy her afternoon without worrying - and that IT IS OK to order exactly what she wants for lunch.

Do you know why your friends are seemingly hard work? Because everywhere you turn, the world tells you that you should hate yourself for being fat. When you open magazines who tell you to drop a dress size before Christmas and when you go on websites for clothes who tell you that you are too big for their range - they're all telling you that your body is not OK, and that you should change it.

When you're up against this sort of hard work it can be tough to say... "I am OK just as I am, and I do not need to change", so you live in this sort of eternal turmoil which leads you to eat a salad at lunch and then a pizza at dinner because you hate yourself for not feeling that the salad was enough.

And throughout all of this - do you know what you should be able to do? You should be able to speak to your friends, feel their love and support and to know that they love you no matter what.

Rather than spending your time writing hateful articles for Best Daily why don't you spend your time telling your friends that being the size they are is OK - they if they want to order Welsh Rarebit they can and that is OK. Perhaps then, when they feel a little more confident in their body image you'll have less hard work to put up with and can put your efforts into being a proper friend, who supports them no matter what they weight.

The world can be a hard place - why would you want to make it harder for your friends to love themselves with your cruel words? If your friends are "hard work" do them a favour and find yourself some new ones. Just make sure they are thin, because we all know thin people have no problems or dramas so will give you a happy, stress free friendship...

Debz x

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Taking Body Positive Influences From All Over

Evening :)

If you have read my blog before then you will have seen that I love finding positive body image sources from all over. I have linked to different people before and I think it's important to surround yourself with positive stuff, where possible. I am not saying it's a miracle cure, but I am very happy and content in the skin I am in - and for years I have sought out, collected, watched and shared positive images, videos and sayings... I guess the two are related!

Anyway, when I find pieces that I like, I want to share them because I think its important for people to have places they can stumble across little rays of sunshine when they didn't expect it - so here you go!

Carrie Hope Fletcher

The little sister of Tom McFly has had a YouTube channel for a while now. I don't pretend to know lots of facts about her but I do love her singing voice! Anyway, last week she released this video of her talking about body image, her own body and how she feels about confidence etc. I really enjoyed watching it and I hope you will too! :)

Hollie McNish

I have blogged about Hollie before and my love of her poems. This week I was reminded of her words when I found out that some of her poetry was being used for Dove adverts. 

My favourite of hers is a poem called "WOW"

One of her Dove advert ones can be seen/heard here:

I love all of these pieces - and a couple more by Hollie McNish. As ever I love Mary Lambert, Natasha Devon and so many other people!

Surrounding myself with positive influences like this really helps me to be happy with who I am... 

What do you do to help yourself with body confidence? Do you find people influential to the way you feel about your body?

I'd love to know your thoughts!

Debz 

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Hard Out Here - Is It What We Really Need?

You know me - I love anything that is body image positive, especially those people who use arts, music, poems etc to get their message across.

I have to admit that I heard about Lily Allens song long before I actually listened to it. With people quoting it's lyrics on Twitter and shouting about how great it was that Lily Allen had waxed lyrical about an issue that is so close to our hearts.




I read the lyrics and really loved what I read:

"If I tell you about my sex life

You call me a slut

Them boys be talking about their bitches

No one's making a fuss"

"You're not a size six

And you're not good looking

Well, you better be rich

Or be real good at cooking

You should probably lose some weight

'Cause we can't see your bones

You should probably fix your face

Or you'll end up on your own

Don't you want to have somebody who objectifies you?

Have you thought about your bar who's gonna tear it in two?

We've never had it so good, uh huh

We're out of the woods

And if you can't detect the sarcasm

You've misunderstood"

I listened to the song and I have to confess to liking it - catchy melody and lyrics I can relate to, what more does a song need?

And then I read a tweet from Pop Idol winner Michelle McManus

And she linked to this newspaper article from a few years ago

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1249065/Lily-Allen-Anxiety-makes-think-I-look-like-Michelle-McManus.html 

Now, I guess you could say that if Lily Allen thought she did look fat, then comparing it to someone else could be a good way of getting her point across... But then is dragging another female into a story about your own negative body image really a good step to take?

I have had a little play on Google and have also come across an open letter Lily Allen penned to Cheryl Cole a few years ago.

"Cheryl, if you're reading this, I may not be as pretty as you, but at least I write and sing my own songs without the aid of Auto-Tune," she said. "I must say, taking your clothes off, doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying, your mother must be so proud, stupid bitch." 

Cheryl posted back saying "I have had enough of her and her big mouth," she said. "Over the last few months she has called [Girls Aloud bandmate Nicola Roberts] ugly, which I bit my tongue over. She called [other bandmate Sarah Harding] vile and my husband horrendous, but seems to have conveniently forgotten all of that." 

So it seems that Lily perhaps hasn't always been as kind as she could have been... Since then she is said to have made peace with Cheryl, saying 

So.. is it OK to be calling other females ugly and then a few years later releasing a song about image and 'setting the bar' of what you should look like? I say, yes. After all, we're all entitled to change and we all grow as people. If she has embraced beauty and can now write about issues such as "You should probably lose some weight, cause we can't see your bones" then good for her!

I really love that Lily Allen has recorded a song about body image and her take on the music industry, I just hope it is for all the right reasons! I love positive body image and I wish more people in the public eye would speak up about it and tell people it is OK to have a body, whatever size that is, that doesn't fit the media norm...I just hope that it's a permanent change in her outlook and we won't be reading negative stories from her in the future

What do you think?

Debz xx

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You Are More Beautiful Than You Think

Discovered this on twitter tonight. I loved it! The world sees you very differently than you see yourself... You are beautiful, love yourself always!! 

Let Your Haters Be Your Motivators!

This weekend I had to witness some wicked comments on Facebook which got me thinking! I won't link to the page they were on, or reference them too much as I really do not want to give it anymore promotion than it needs.

On a BBW Facebook page, someone posted a photo of a lady in a BBW night club in a tight, short dress. The larger lady was showing some flesh, but radiated confidence. I should point out that the lady was NOT looking at the camera and as far as I can tell doesnt know the photo was taken, let alone posted by someone else on a Facebook group - which itself upset me!

However, it was actually the comments on this page that upset me the most! Ladies were SO quick to knock this other lady down. Comments about how trashy she looked, how her outfit was 'so wrong' and how she should have some self respect and wear something else. People were commenting that her outfit was inappropriate and that she should not go out in public like that, because it is not what people want to see!

My comments about how we dont dress for other people and how we should stand together as one fell on mostly deaf ears - and what a shame that is! Not only do I feel that we should all respect eachother anyway, but as a BBW group I found it upsetting that larger ladies would put down someone larger for wearing what they want. 

Yes, the dress with tight and short. Yes, she showed off some flesh. Yes, it might not be something would I would wear - but who cares what they lady wears! What she does with her life and what her clothing choices, make no difference to me and my day! This lady was at a BBW night club, not a shopping trip to Asda, so let her wear what she wants to I say!

And then today - I posted this photo on Instagram!

I know, a photo of me in a pretty dress is not unusual, so you wouldn't think it would be such a big deal, but i think you'll see from these screen grabs that not everyone agrees! (I would usually block out a name, but seeing as these comments were made on a public forum (Instagram) and can be seen my anyone (my Instagram isn't private) I have chosen not to)

I have no problem at all with this lady and her life style choices, I don't even care if she looks at me and thinks I am disgusting - but what scares me is how quick she is to comment on a photo of someone she doesn't know just to try and bash them down?

The world is a big, bad scary place. The media tell us all the time that we're not good enough, that we should lose a dress size in two weeks or that we should get a bikini body for summer. All of this is thrown in our faces almost unavoidably - and I don't care, I am happy in my skin and I don't want to change. But why do ladies like the one above feel that they can comment on me and my lifestyle? Even if she doesn't understand me and my choices, I am just a stranger to her - what do I matter?

Ladies (and gentlemen), use your haters as your motivators! These people who want to rip you down and make you feel unworthy - DO NOT LET THEM! You are amazing and beautiful and don't let the world tell you otherwise. Spend time with your friends, cherish your family, buy pretty dresses whatever your size, eat too much, sleep too much, dance too much, slut drop until your thighs hurt but whatever you do, do not let them steal your shine - because you are worth more than you could even imagine!

Debz xx

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The New Power Generation

Over the last few days I have seen a number of different discissions on Twitter and other social media platforms about the 'younger' generation and how we can teach them to love themselves.

I grew up very lucky that I can not remember ever really hating my body, but I know that isnt the case for everyone. I also know that body image issues and hatred don't just happen when they are seemingly justified. The truth is that from every direction we are told how to feel about how bodies, how they should look and what we should be doing to improve them  - so is it any wonder that young girls (and boys) are growing up not knowing how to love and respect their body.

One of the biggest discussions over the last few days is what the government and schools can do to help young people like their body, for me - it isn't rocket science!

The media is full of slim celebrities telling us about their bodies, even in subtle ways! But the likes of Blogger, Twitter, Tumblr and more are full of inspirational women of ALL sizes telling us to stick it to the man! 

Why not show children in schools the tweets, videos, words of wisdom from these people who survive every single day in this big, bad world!

Some of the inspirational people I would love to see shown to school children:

Mary Lambert




I love this poem by Mary Lambert. The I Know Girls (Body Love) poem might be a little hard-hitting but the sentences about body love are fantastic and something every girl should hear! 

And with words like "I am a big girl. A voluptuous, curvy, dress-wearing lesbian. I love my body; it’s the only one I’ll ever have. I eat a lot of greens and work out and drink gin martinis and put M&Ms in my froyo and sometimes I don’t do anything but watch Project Runway. I am allowed to look sexy, feel sexy, and be in love. I am worthy of all of those things, and so are you. Own your good and bad, and all the scary parts that you’ve been covering up because it is yours and no amount of judgement can tell you how to love your body. In the words of Sonya Renee, the body is not an apology. You are magic." which is posted on her Facebook recently she should be used more when it comes to teaching people to love their bodies!

Natasha Devon

I have mentioned Natasha Devon before and I will again! She already does so much for helping young people love their bodies - her company Body Gossip go into schools to talk about confidence and body love! It would be great if more was made of this.

Rachel Wiley

I have blogged about her poem before  - 10 thoughts on being loved by a skinny boy. I love stuff like this and find the words inspirational. I follow her on Twitter and she often tweets out words of wisdom, which young people would most definitely benefit from!

This is just a small, tiny, teeny handful of the women who put themselves out there everyday to help people love their bodies. Online campaigns such as Eff Your Beauty Standards and Honor My Curves are full of everyday women showing their own body love. People such as Tess Munster show that you can love your body and make a career out of it!

Even if schools can't promote these precise people, why not show young people a way of looking up inspirational people online? I am sure there are plenty of people I don't know about (I would love to read about them if you know any!)... but I read a lot of Tumblr and Twitter and everyday I am inspired by something that is posted!

Who are your main inspirations?

Debz xx

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Gemma Cruickshank Collexions: New Fashion Line Launch

If you follow any aspect of the 'plus size world' then the likelihood is that you will have heard of Gemma Cruickshank - Of course it's still a shame it's a separate world, but that is another blog post! 

Whether you saw her win the Miss BBW International Beauty Pageant in 2012, you discovered her many 'self love' rants on Facebook, you have seen her on Twitter or met her at an event there can be no denying that she will have made an impact. 

I won't talk about how at a size 22 it is a surprise she is so confident and I won't take about how she's pretty for a big girl because we all know being good looking and confident isn't linked to body size.

What I do want to talk about is the very exciting Gemma Cruickshank Collexions which are due to launch soon! I am very excited to see what Gemma has come up with and I know I won't be disappointed! Having someone who understands a bigger body design clothes for me is amazing and I can't wait for the line to be launched!

In a lead up to the launch I caught up with Gemma to talk about fashion and her new line - her is what she had to say!

For anyone who doesnt know you in the plus size world (or the 'normal world' for that matter) who are you?

My name is Gemma Cruickshank, I am 23 years old and I am an up and coming size inclusive fashion designer. I graduated last November and have had a whirl wind of a year; I am excited to be sharing the fantastic news that my brainchild ‘Gemma Cruickshank Clothing’ will be launching this October 2013.

Celebrating the curvaceous form and non commercial silhouette is my passion, I definitely consider myself to be a body confidence and self esteem activist. I believe that boosting self esteem enables us to achieve our goals and better our lives. I have done lots of work around size acceptance, body confidence and self esteem boosting in the run up to my business launch. 

Being tall and fuller figured myself, and knowing the struggle women of different shapes and sizes face when buying clothes. I initially went to University to study fashion & printed textiles which I knew would equip me with the knowledge I needed to build my dream and enable me to provide quality, size appropriate clothing. 

We're hearing rumours on Twitter and Facebook of you launching a clothing range, tell us more?

I am indeed launching a clothing range, it is something I am so excited and so passionate about. I am lucky enough to be the proud occupant of a BA Hons in fashion and printed textiles.  I am literally now turning my dreams into my reality. I am currently working with the Princes Trust to build my business, which I am launching on the evening of Tuesday 8th October 2013. This will be a fantastic opportunity for me to meet all the fabulous people who have been supporting me for the past year, release my first official collection and celebrate the launch of my awaited website.

Did you do all the designs yourself?

I do everything myself which I love, initially I am a digital printer which means I am able to design my fabric surfaces myself, which enables me to get the exact fabric design I want to use. I design all my own stuff, pattern cut, sew and finish all myself. Up until now I have been doing bespoke orders but the time is definitely here to unleash a small collection of my own little ‘Gems’. As my business is growing and the only way is up I will be on the look out to grow #TeamGemma, I am looking for skilled pattern cutters and seamstresses to join my team.
   
Who will your range be aimed at?

I would hate to limit my range and say it’s only made for one group of people or a specific person. I would never produce anything I wouldn’t wear myself, and it is open for everybody to enjoy. 

Although I am plus size myself, I feel it is very important for us to be included in the fashion industry this is why I am doing size inclusion which covers 12-30. I want to be the change I want to see, I would love for fuller figure ladies to be able to shop at the same places as their petite friends, and be able to buy something because they really like it not because they have to, because it’s their size. I am open to everyone who wants to enjoy my passion.

Where do you get your design inspiration from?

Being part of my own target market means I am continuously inspired, I am a very visual person, I love the feminine form, I love the feel of fabrics, I get excited by colour, and I love the endless opportunities. It never gets boring, I love what I do, I love the wave of fuller figured women who are all doing their own bit for our community and showing that just because you are bigger doesn’t mean you can’t be beautiful – that to me is one of the most inspiring things ever and something I am so grateful to be a part of.

 Where can I find out more?

I love a bit of social media, I can be found exclusively at www.GemmaCruickshank.com
I can be found on my official Facebook page www.facebook.com/IAmGemmaC
I can be followed and tweeted www.twitter.com/IAmGemmaC - @IAmGemmaC

I can be contacted directly through all of these, I am known as IAmGemmaC via social media, if it’s not IAmGemmaC it’s not me :D
  
Where, when and how will I be able to buy your clothes!?

Starting Small, My clothes will be available to buy via my own website under the Boutique heading – www.GemmaCruickshank.com & www.GemmaCruickshank.co.uk 

Got my fingers crossed and I would love to work with a bigger brand either expanding their own plus size range or introducing a new one!! I am always open to new ideas and love a challenge. 


So there you have it - a VERY exciting new business venture by a lovely lady who knows what she is talking about. By living and breathing the clothes she is designing you can feel sure that her passion, experience and qualifications will make sure that the clothes line is worth checking out!

I'm going to the launch on the 8th October so I'll bring you all the gossip and news from there ASAP!

What would you like to see as part of Gemmas new collection?

Debz xx

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"Fat Girls In Bodycon Dresses Make Me Vom"

Ok... So they don't actually make me vom, but work with me on this...

I am proud of the mixture of friends that I have. I like to think that they're mostly open-minded and non-judgmental... And then every so often (and I mean very rarely) one of them says something that makes me sit back and think!

Today one of my friends had a Facebook status up that was something along the lines of "Big girls shouldn’t wear body con dresses, it makes me vom". The comments on the status went on to say that she thinks that they shouldn't even sell these dresses in that size and that because she is bigger she has a right to say it.

It will come as a surprise, but I am not one to keep my mouth shut. I absolutely disagree with her opinion and couldn’t sit back and say nothing. I wrote on there that I was a fat girl who wore these body con dresses and felt that her opinion was wrong. I understand completely if someone chooses not to wear any style of clothing, but condemning a whole group of people for wearing something just because you do not have the confidence to do so seems alien to me.

I told her that when I dressed in the morning (or the evening) I did not dress for her or anyone else. I explained to her that it was not my job to be visually pleasing to her or anyone else and that just because she didn't like that style of clothing tat doesn’t mean that others don't! And then the status got deleted.

Wear what you want and feel happy doing it!

I was all ready to come on here all guns blazing and rant about the status - but I put something on my Facebook status and 20 people liked it straight away. It made me realise that actually not everyone thinks this way and that most people are happy to let others get on with their own lives. 

I know that we all take a second glance when we see someone wearing something unique but I don't know of many people who would claim that something shouldn’t be sold to people just because they choose not to wear it themselves! It made me sad and angry, that someone would still think in this backwards way. We seem to be making leaps and bounds when it comes to plus size fashion and I absolutely feel that people should wear whatever they want to wear whatever their size. 

When you get dressed in the morning remember to wear what you want to wear. You do not dress to please other people. It is not your job to look good for other people. You were put on this planet to live your live and not be visually pleasing to people - especially strangers!

If you are someone who feels sick because of what other people wear... Ask yourself why what they have in their wardrobe or on their body affects you!

And then, like a beacon of hope I came across this video by the BEAUTIFUL Tess Munster this morning, which sums up perfectly what I wanted to say, in much less words! 

I love her and I feel that she is such an inspiration and quite frankly, if you can't see her beauty then you need your eyes testing.

Thankfully there are online campaigns such as 'Eff Your Beauty Standards' and 'Honor My Curves' which are helping to pave the way online for people to be happy in their own skin. Personally I love both of these campaigns and love reading peoples involvement in them! If you haven't come across them before, please check them out! 

How do you deal with peoples negatives comments?


Debz xx

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The Obligation We Have To A New Generation.

I am no stranger to the world of online dating - in fact many people would call me an expert in this particular pastime. I understand that the internet allows people to be braver and bolder than they would in real life, but the way that some people go about trying to get people’s attention will always baffle me.

When you get to my age (over the hill) I think you have to almost expect that potential partners will have a past/baggage/children. Dating someone with children has never been an issue to me, maybe because to extent I am a big kid myself :) I have dated people with children in the past and whilst the relationships haven't worked out (massive under statement) that has never been because of the children involved.

What I am not liking is the trend of men (I am not saying all, just speaking in general terms here) who have on their dating profile that they have a daughter who they adore/love/cherish/have made their world and message you to come to your house for casual sex within 15 minutes of exchanging your first message.

I had a conversation like this with a man a few weeks ago and I asked him how he would feel if his (when she is grown up) daughter met men she knew for all of 10 minutes on a dating site and invited them to his house. Understandably he said he wouldn’t be very happy with this and would want her to act differently - I told him, I imagined that my dad had the same wishes for me.

In the end I ended up ranting at him, I know it's unusual. I told him that whatever happened, he she teach his beautiful daughter that the world is a big, bad place full of men (like him!) who will want to use her for her body, come to her house and then never see her again. I told him that he needed to teach his daughter that she is WORTHY of her place in this world and that however bad things seemed, she never, ever needed to invite a stranger into her house in order to feel loved or wanted. I asked him to teach her that if she does meet a man it is because she WANTS to and not because some random man on a dating website has messaged her to invite himself round...

In the end, he agreed with me - but I can guarantee that he went on to send the same copy and paste message to another girl on the site. I can only assume this 'send as many messages as possible to meet a girl for sex today' approach works because guys don't seem to change their tactics.

I don't have children, I more than likely never will, but if I did I would tell them that they are beautiful and worthy and never need to compromise who they are in order to feel loved.

I read a piece on Tumblr this week about how to talk about your body in front of your children. As a weight obsesses generation we are talking more and more in hated about our bodies - but if your daughter hears that your thighs are too fat or your son hears your husband talking about how his muscles aren’t big enough, then your children will grow up thinking these same things about their bodies. I am not by any stretch of the imagination an expert on this subject, but if you have children, do you want them to have the same hatred and misconceptions about their body as you do yours? 

I found this on Tumblr, I do not own the copyright. Borrowed with thanks.

Let's create a generation of men and women who know what it means to love their body and to not have to message hundreds of girls online in order to meet just one of them for meaningless sex. I am sure that things like this have always happened in varying forms, but if we teach our daughters that they are worthy of love from a man who offers more than to come to their home, love them once and leave then we'll be half way there.

Happy Tuesday x

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Gym'll Fix It! My Sisters Story From The Otherside Of The Coin.

Anyone who knows me personally will know that my little sister has lost quite a lot of weight over the past 2-3 years and fantastically well she has done at it too! But, after a conversation with her tonight (YAY for sister time) I realise that we all take for granted just what weight loss does (or doesn't do) for you.

I'm not going to get into facts and figures because we all know that I feel those aren’t important, being happy in your own skin is far more essential that wearing the jeans size that the media says you should. What is important is that she set herself a goal and stuck to it - as she does now!

Would You Ever Ask Someone What They Weigh?

I don't think I have ever asked someone what they weigh! I am not sure I would even ask someone their dress size (unless it was for practical reasons) let alone what the scales read when they take the (sometimes brave) step to step onto them.

My sister told me today that since she has lost weight, she has been asked how much she weighs more times than she cares to remember... She recalls that when she was 'fat' no one ever asked her this. It seems that people see the transformation she has gone through has given people a reason (excuse?) to ask her what she weighs... This isn’t just friends, but work colleagues and people she barely knows!

You Look So Much Better Now!

You would imagine that our media obsessed world would lead to compliments of "you look so much better now you are thin" which she says happens... But that isn’t where it ends. She gets comments such as "Oh, have you put on a bit of weight, you look so much better for it"... She hasn’t gained weight & to be honest, is that anyone else’s business? People telling her she looks better thin, others telling her she looks better (when they think she is) bigger... How is anyone supposed to win!?

I don't want to go into personal details of her life (and I have asked her if I can blog about this) but it made me realise (once again) that it isn’t just fat people that get comments on the way they look. She has worked hard at her body and yet people still tell her she looks good thin, or that she looks better a bit bigger. Not people whose opinion she has asked for or even someone who has entered into discussion with, but just people who feel it is their right/obligation/job to comment on whether she looks good at whatever weight they think she looks better at.

To me, she has always been beautiful and I would never comment on it and she's my sister - why other people think they should is baffling... I am sure she is not the only person who goes through this. In fact I know she isn't - many of us deal with peoples comments on OUR body every single day.

Let's all just remember we are not put on this earth to be visually pleasing to other people at all. We are put on this Earth to live our life exactly how we want & we do not and should not live our life in a way that just pleases others. If people do not like the way we look then they can simply choose to look the other way!

Be-You-Tiful

Debz xx

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Where Can I Buy Confidence?

Some of you may have seen that I was quoted in The DailyTelegraphs Wonder Woman section last week...

“Debz, 30, is an internet marketer, who also runs a plus size fashion blog Wannabe Princess. She knows Miranda through Twitter (there’s definitely a scene) and loves Club Indulge, although she says her size doesn’t put her off going to mainstream nights.

“I’d go anywhere, I don’t really care, but we all come along to this together, so it’s a good opportunity to see people.” Although she admits: “If I can’t fit past someone here, I’ll tell them to move, whereas in a normal club I’d feel like I had to squeeze past or go the long way round.””

Apart from learning that I probably shouldn't talk to journalists when I am drunk, I was glad to have a link to my blog & some new visitors - Hiiii!

Anyway, I guess write-ups like this lead to 'normal' people discovering blogs and BBW websites etc. because it is something that they wouldn't usually Google to find.

I had a lovely email from a lady the day after the article and it made me realise that the blogs that we all write (And I don't mean this in a big myself up way - I mean it generically across the board) are doing some good!

" I stumbled accross your site through an article in a paper about BBW night clubs. I was so happy to see this, you look so confident and your clothes are fab.... I feel that in my life long quest to be thin I have wasted so much time on being unhappy being fat. I have so much more confidence now as I used to feel succesful when im thin and unsuccessful when im fat! I am learning to accept me as a big person, not easy though, any tips please, I love your style and confidence. xx"

I wrote back to the lovely lady (Hello if you are reading this) but it made me think, how exactly do you 'get' confidence?

This has been saved on my computer for years, I do not know the original source - sorry!

A few years back one of the biggest things for me was realising that many people suffer with the same body image issues - whether they're 'justified' or not. I started to post body positivity quotes that I liked on my Facebook and I was surprised at the number of friends that related to what I was saying. I always thought my thin, beautiful friends would never understand how I felt but actually in this image-conscious world we are all fighting the same battle.

What was also a big step for me was realising that if people wanted to pick on something about your image/look/style they will - they'll call you out for wearing glasses, or having the wrong haircut or having the wrong clothes.

This has been saved on my computer for years, I do not know the original source - sorry!

However the truth is that these people don't own me - they don't have any bearing on my life or the good memories I make with the people who do matter. Someone might make a comment in a nightclub or while I am out, but they are the ones who spend their night concentrating on others - I am usually so happy to be out with people I care about that I don't even register other people’s negativity.

I am not saying I am 100% confident - who is!! But what I am saying is that any issues I do have are just that - my own issues. I do not have to let any ill confidences I feel about my body have a negative effect on my life - or even my day. 

Whatever size clothes you wear, you deserve to be happy & have good people in your life, so never let the haters bring you down!

This has been saved on my computer for years, I do not know the original source - sorry!

I hope you're enjoying the sunshine

Debz xx

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