"Meat Is For The Man, Only A Dog Wants A Bone"... ??

I know, I have already blogged today - but something has really got my blood boiling and I have to rant somehow!

So anyway... Real Women Have Curves!

That's right isn't it? That if you're a REAL man you'll admit to being a chubby chaser, or that if you're a curvy woman you should embrace it because your body shape is real -so much more real than the size 10 girl down the road!

It all started with this post by Superdrug post (which I found via http://www.bigfashionista.co.uk/2013/11/body-shaming-by-superdrug.html)

As you can imagine - there were some choice words said against their use of this photo. It was deleted within a few hours and they apologised via Twitter the next day.

It once again got me thinking about the mantras that SO many body positive influencers use, to try and make curvy women feel better about themselves... You know the ones I mean, 'Real women have curves', 'Meat is for the man, only dogs want a bone'... I have ranted about these before and no doubt I will again.

If you believe that 'real women have curves' then please look at this photo:

I am proud to say that the gorgeous girl on the left is my little sister. I have talked about her and her weight loss before so I won't go down that route - but can you HONESTLY say that she is not a real woman?? She looks amazing - and she is kind, funny, clever and has all of the good qualities that a decent person should have. I honestly do not believe that she or I have better body types that each other (not that it is a contest  - I believe we both have good bodies and that mantras like 'real women have curves' only serve to segregate people in the fight towards a body positive world and that is the last thing we need. 

Are bones only for dogs, or is my beautiful little sister just as entitled to be loved (by the way she is!) by a man as I am... We're all good, and I really can not stress enough how much sayings like these make me cringe - especially when they're used in a way to promote positive body image.

Real Men Like Women With Curves. 

That sentence right there ^^ makes me SO angry. I saw it on a website called 'Curvy Partner' although i can't see it on their page any more, so maybe they have seen the error of their ways. 

They do have this tweet though:

Someone who finds my sister (or someone similar) attractive is no more or less real than someone who finds me (or someone similar) attractive. We're all real - even those of us who are 'bad' or make bad decisions - we're REAL! Every single bloody one of us.... 

SO PLEASE STOP WITH YOUR BODY-SHAMING BULLSHIT!

I will never, ever understand the concept of bringing down a body type in order to make someone else feel better. I have said it many times - ALL BODIES ARE GOOD BODIES! If you are fat, or thin or like fat girls or thin girls (or boys!) that is OK! Your preference is OK and your business alone. 

You do not need to be detrimental to one body type in order to make another feel better!

I'd love to know your thoughts - Do these sayings make you feel better, or do you agree with me?

Debz xx

P.S I apologise for the rant, the anger and the swearing :)

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Let Your Haters Be Your Motivators!

This weekend I had to witness some wicked comments on Facebook which got me thinking! I won't link to the page they were on, or reference them too much as I really do not want to give it anymore promotion than it needs.

On a BBW Facebook page, someone posted a photo of a lady in a BBW night club in a tight, short dress. The larger lady was showing some flesh, but radiated confidence. I should point out that the lady was NOT looking at the camera and as far as I can tell doesnt know the photo was taken, let alone posted by someone else on a Facebook group - which itself upset me!

However, it was actually the comments on this page that upset me the most! Ladies were SO quick to knock this other lady down. Comments about how trashy she looked, how her outfit was 'so wrong' and how she should have some self respect and wear something else. People were commenting that her outfit was inappropriate and that she should not go out in public like that, because it is not what people want to see!

My comments about how we dont dress for other people and how we should stand together as one fell on mostly deaf ears - and what a shame that is! Not only do I feel that we should all respect eachother anyway, but as a BBW group I found it upsetting that larger ladies would put down someone larger for wearing what they want. 

Yes, the dress with tight and short. Yes, she showed off some flesh. Yes, it might not be something would I would wear - but who cares what they lady wears! What she does with her life and what her clothing choices, make no difference to me and my day! This lady was at a BBW night club, not a shopping trip to Asda, so let her wear what she wants to I say!

And then today - I posted this photo on Instagram!

I know, a photo of me in a pretty dress is not unusual, so you wouldn't think it would be such a big deal, but i think you'll see from these screen grabs that not everyone agrees! (I would usually block out a name, but seeing as these comments were made on a public forum (Instagram) and can be seen my anyone (my Instagram isn't private) I have chosen not to)

I have no problem at all with this lady and her life style choices, I don't even care if she looks at me and thinks I am disgusting - but what scares me is how quick she is to comment on a photo of someone she doesn't know just to try and bash them down?

The world is a big, bad scary place. The media tell us all the time that we're not good enough, that we should lose a dress size in two weeks or that we should get a bikini body for summer. All of this is thrown in our faces almost unavoidably - and I don't care, I am happy in my skin and I don't want to change. But why do ladies like the one above feel that they can comment on me and my lifestyle? Even if she doesn't understand me and my choices, I am just a stranger to her - what do I matter?

Ladies (and gentlemen), use your haters as your motivators! These people who want to rip you down and make you feel unworthy - DO NOT LET THEM! You are amazing and beautiful and don't let the world tell you otherwise. Spend time with your friends, cherish your family, buy pretty dresses whatever your size, eat too much, sleep too much, dance too much, slut drop until your thighs hurt but whatever you do, do not let them steal your shine - because you are worth more than you could even imagine!

Debz xx

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Merci BeauCoo

It is no secret that I read a lot of blogs - I love them! Over the last few days I have seen on blogs (and on places like Twitter) a few mentions of BeauCoo - a fashion based social networking website. I read Callie's full review on the site on her From The Corners of The Curve blog and decided to sign up (Thanks Callie!)

Their twitter describes them as "Pics on someone your own size! The worlds only body positive style network, just for women" and they're not wrong! 

I think it's a great site and wanted to recommend that more people join :)

When you join you put in your own measurements (don't worry they're anonymous) and then you can see fashion based posts by people of a similar size. We all know that different outfits and styles can look different on different shapes and sizes, so now you can look for someone similar to you!

My profile page on the site!

On the site you can look for all sorts though, so you don't have to worry about being limited to just seeing people like you! 

When you have joined the site you can post up photos and put where you got them and what you thought of the outfit!

Its a great way to look at recent trends, see different people wearing them and share your own favourite outfits.

As most of you will know I am really passionate about positive body image and people feeling good in whatever they wear and whatever their size. BeauCoo seem to be passionate about the same thing - a fashion website for everyone with a positive body image angle, which is exactly why I wanted to sign up!

You can join up here - let me know if you do and I'll give you a follow!

Debz xx